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With my birthday right at the start of Lent, and thus my quest to quash my chocolate addiction, I have had some serious discussions with myself about my birthday cake.

Every birthday cake I have ever requested was chocolate. Every single one. Chocolate cake is my favourite cake, so why wouldn’t I go there?

Since my actual birthday is Ash Wednesday, I have 2 options: Have birthday cake on the 4th or the 6th of March.

Pros for the 4th

  • I could have chocolate cake because Lent hasn’t started
  • I won’t be tempted to make my cake on my actual birthday, which would be torture because I can’t even lick the beaters (no treats on Ash Wednesday).
  • I could have cake for breakfast on the 6th.

Cons for the 4th

  • If there is leftover chocolate cake, I can’t eat it after the 4th!
  • There will be an entire day that the cake can’t be eaten, which makes it another day more stale on the 6th.

Pros for the 6th

  • My cake won’t go to waste, at all.

Cons for the 6th

  • I’ll be tempted to make make the cake on Ash Wednesday which will be torture (see above).
  • It can’t be chocolate cake.

Then I had the thought that I have not-chocolate-cake on the 4th. Or even celebrate on the weekend before and just eat all the cake before the 4th is over.

And I’m wrestling with the knowledge that I consider not-chocolate cake tasty enough for my birthday. Just another reason I want to rule chocolate.

At press time, I’m leaning towards not-chocolate-cake on the 6th. Even making it on the 5th as a test of strength. Who wouldn’t enjoy a battle of will on their birthday? (Me.)

While I’m thinking all of these very important thoughts, another comes to mind. Will I be able to convince my family and friends that choosing not-chocolate cake isn’t an indicator that something is wrong?

I find that outside of this blog I don’t want to talk about giving up chocolate. Why? I think writing about my journey is easier than talking. I’ve always been better at writing than talking. The desire to present my journey outside of my own head is there, but the desire to share with my loved and liked ones is not. I don’t have a concrete answer  as to why, just that the feeling surrounding in-person chatter is…embarrassing. I had to really consider that adverb, and I think I nailed it (but not in a Pinterest-cake-gone-wrong kind of fashion). I think I’ll have to circle back to this later. Hmmm. Now where did I leave those psychology books from university?

I also cheated a bit with this chocolate cake thing. I purposely made chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing to take to a Girls’ Night gathering I went to last night. I hoped that it would satisfy my chocolate cake wants at this time of year and give me the boost I need to have a not-chocolate birthday cake.

Sounds like the decision is made. Not-chocolate cake it is. On the 6th.

To chocolate cake or to not-chocolate cake? Question answered.