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It’s Day 6 and I can officially say that I want chocolate. This is more urgent than “I’d like chocolate” and less pressing than “I need chocolate” but it is uncomfortable nonetheless.

In my last post I said that I was trying to decide whether to replace chocolate. The answer today is quite clear that YES I want to replace chocolate. But it’s not as simple as it sounds.

What pushed me all the way to this conclusion is the fact that I am a restless snacker. If I have a snack that isn’t the tasty that I crave, my taste buds rile and so I search through the cupboards looking for something better. Knowing this about myself, when I am buying my snacks I will consider what it is that I truly crave and buy it, even if it is terrible for me or a little pricier than I want because I am more likely to eat enough to satisfy me and not totally pig out. This is a new concept I’ve been trying out with success over the last 6 months. Therefore, if I do not replace chocolate, I will snack endlessly.

Chocolate’s replacement won’t be simple. I’m working on cutting back on sugar (I’ve heard the word “diabetes” tossed around too frequently for my liking), and I don’t care much for candy so a stroll through the candy aisle isn’t going to help. Instead of a food replacement, I’m in need of a mental replacement, and this is where I will discover the other item up for discussion in my last post: When and Why do I want chocolate? Today it was time for my mid-afternoon snack and I wanted chocolate because I wanted sweet. I’m not in a bad or sad mood, although not chipper either. I whipped up a smoothie with a couple of natural sweets in the forms of a banana and half an orange (and hemp hearts, spinach, plain yogurt, skim milk and 2 Tbsp of coconut milk leftover from my birthday cake). I considered my hunger pangs and added some (unsalted) corn chips and hummus. Super healthy? No. Better than a peanut butter sandwich and a bag of chips? I think so.

It didn’t work, I still want chocolate and I’m still hungry. As I write this I’m making myself wait the suggested 20 minutes for my brain to render the ACKNOWLEDGED notice that I have been fed. In fact I started writing this to make myself wait out the 20 minutes. My mind is at war. Intellectually, I have informed myself that my snack is healthier and way more filling that chocolate. I should be satisfied. I will be satisfied! But the chocolate part of my brain argues that nothing compares to the taste of bittersweet chocolate, even just one small square. Both of these are facts, the battle is equally weighted.

I’m not (quite) ready to break down into tears, but I’m going to have to step up my snack habits. I’ve got some ideas and will do some research. Hopefully the next post has an upbeat feel.