, ,

Day 11 of the No Chocolate for Lent experience, and I haven’t lost my mind (yet). I’m coping much better than I expected I would be.

Wanting chocolate remains a daily hum. That is not a typo. It’s as if my body is using sonar to search for chocolate sources nearby, and it searches constantly. Just the other day I walked by the chocolate milk at the grocery store and noticed some coupons. Drawn to the chocolate, I stepped closer and almost reached out. I shook myself out of the trance I found myself in and reminded myself that store-bought chocolate milk grosses me out. I make my own. Chocolate sauce recipe from my grandmother (1 cup water, 1/2 cup sugar, 1/2cup or more to taste cocoa powder. Combine in small sauce pan. Simmer, stirring constantly for 5 minutes. Store in a tightly sealed glass jar in the fridge. I’ve never had a batch go bad, but that may be because it’s never been in danger of going bad), and milk. Place desired quantities of sauce and milk in a drinking glass and stir. Store-bought has some ingredients on the list that I can’t even pronounce and on top of that COLOURING. Does the chocolate part not take care of that? Gross! I walked on without taking any coupons.

Night time seems to be the time of day I regularly crave chocolate. Seems to be part of my daily wind-down pattern. A couple of friends have unknowingly participated with this project by providing me with homemade non-chocolate treats. I got a jar of Christmas strawberries from one as a birthday gift and mini cupcakes from another (pistachio so that they were green for St. Patrick’s Day). This weekend every time I craved chocolate I reached for one of those (okay, or both) instead.

Verdict? They aren’t chocolate 😦

I’ll be satisfied with my treat for a short while, but I always want more. I always want more chocolate too, but I feel happier when it’s chocolate. With the sugary strawberries and frosting-topped little cakes, it’s just too sweet, too sugary. Am I unhappy simply because I want chocolate? I don’t think so. I think I really just prefer chocolate.

The hardest test thus far was Thursday night. I went to the opening showing of Veronica Mars The Movie in my area, and I purchased a snack combo that included a candy treat. “Choose anything from either of the top 2 shelves” the a cashier told me. I looked it all over. Lots of chocolate and candy options, and as I’ve mentioned before I’m not much of one for candy. I do love Twizzlers, but they weren’t available. Instead of choosing a candy I wouldn’t eat at all, I picked up some regular M&M’s, shoving them into my purse as soon as I’d paid so that they would be out of sight and, hopefully, out of mind. It worked! I didn’t think of the M&M’s at all during the movie, and I’ve tucked the little bag away for Easter. The wonder of movie itself may have helped me out. I waited seven years to find out what happened next, and it was worth the agonizing wait! Proud Kickstarter backer right here!

I think my toughest week without chocolate has just begun. Cranky has been the polite way to describe my mood recently, and I can’t fallback on my favourite happy-mood inducer, chocolate. Wish me luck! And everyone I come into contact with. *Cue maniacal laughter*